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Girls are Complex Creatures     - by Anita Verma

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:

So simple, yet so complex wonderful.....

Scientific Methods to Catch Verrappan     - by Anita Verma

1. Newton's Method: Let Veerappan catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite
   reaction. Implies you caught Veerappan.
   
2. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of Veerappan.
   Due to higher relative velocity, the Veerappan will also run faster and
   will get tired soon. Now you can trap Him easily.
   
3. Schrodinger Method: At any given moment, there is a positive probability that Veerappan to be
   in the Jungle. So set the sandal trap, sit down and wait.
   
4. Inverse Transformation Method: We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse
   transformation with respect to Veerappan. Veerappan is in and we are out.
   
5. Thermodynamic Procedure: We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows every thing to pass it
   except Veerappan. Then sweep the entire forest with it.
   
6. Integration Differentiation Method: Integrate the forest over the entire area. Veerappan is some where in the
   result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t Veerappan to trace out
   Veerappan.
   
7. The Banta's singh's Method: Don't even try. You'll get caught by Veerappan!

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